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It was empty.

My knees became weak, and I had to find something to sit down on. Luckily, there was a carton box next to the chest that looked strong enough to bear my weight. It was also dusty, but I didn’t care. I sat down and tried to breathe evenly. I didn’t want Benny to see me being emotional over nothing.

How could I fall into that? My brother couldn’t possibly have been in that thing. I was so stupid coming all the way to this place. Was this all because of “the lack of closure on Charlie’s disappearance” as my therapist had once put it? My family and I had always hoped that we would see him again one day or, at least, know his fate. Hope was a dangerous thing. It could drive one mad.

Once I was able to gather my wits, I started to think. What had happened to my stash? It couldn’t have just evaporated with the bag it was in. Was it the staff that had over time helped themselves to some recreational drugs at my expense? Perhaps it had been the rodents that got to it after all. Well, I hoped those furry bastards, as Benny had eloquently put it, had died high.

Back in the library, I was having another drink, still feeling stupid but relieved at the same time.

“Do you also think I’m a fool?” I asked the fox. It didn’t dignify me with an answer but kept staring at me. “It’s the stupid legal high. That’s what it was.” More unanswered staring.

Well, I could focus on making money again.

Like many families with big estates, we went through some tough times, but we did our best to hold on to our land for as long as we could. It took me a while to convince my parents, especially my father, who still lived in France, to consider the housing project, after our tenant who ran the pig farm died. The land had belonged to his side of the family for a few generations. The idea of having cottages full of strangers on our land didn’t sit well with my father at first, but he reluctantly agreed when I told him that it would be for the good of the local community because it would create some long-term jobs for the locals. I suspected, though, that the real reason was that they had given up on me getting into a meaningful relationship that could lead to forming a family and having children. Ergo, no need for a lot of land which wasn’t making any money.